god-shaped hole

I found something I must have written around 2014, when working at the Starbucks in Portland State University on the back of a school flyer for the return of Chiron studies, in a copy of Marx’s Capital I was flipping through today. It says:

Some see the existential suffering and yearning for meaning we often experience as proof of God, i.e., of the ‘God-shaped hole’ that no ephemeral, worldly pleasure or success can fill. But could very well be the result of our self-awareness that, when reflected upon itself, finds the natural order of life, particularly as we’ve [materially] organized it, unfulfilling. We want something more, and we look outwards into the unknown for it. Perhaps God is, ironically, an idol that doesn’t fit its own hole—the representation of our existential security blanket.

In some ways, I still agree with 2014 me. I definitely think much of our suffering and unhappiness is tied to the way the logic of capitalism has structured society. But I also think that any leftover emptiness can only be filled by something transcendent, something that we can’t create but can realize or awaken to that points us towards our interconnectedness and motivates us to see and act with compassion. Material comfort and support is important, as I think Maslow’s hierarchy of needs rightly asserts; but so is the peerless comfort and support of things like love and community.